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Study economics-when you’re unemployed, at least you’ll know why.
AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
Sorry about those texts I sent you, last night, my phone was drunk.
Hey,you are reading my status again ?
I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
You can’t stop loving short girls.
Non-urgent calls only!!
Kuch bhi Bolo But Dil???? to Chasmis Ladkiyaa hi Churatii hai.
Cool thing only happen when you don’t have a camera.
Try to say the letter “M” without your lips touching.
Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.
Learn then remove ‘L’.
Error: status unavailable
Smile…It confuses people..!
When you mess up a guy’s hair, he thinks it’s cute, but when you mess up a girl’s hair, just hope you’re wearing something bulletproof.
Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status
Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me
When nothing goes right..!! Go left.
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
Online by public demand
Etc= End of thinking Capacity.
God created the sleep, and the devil created an alarm clock.
You hate me, I hate you. Problem? ♥
I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition
life is short…smile while you still have teeth.
Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
Installing love. ……44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first.
Awesome ends with Me, Ugly starts with U
Totally available!! Please disturb me!
Status Unavailable! Check Later
Give me some sunshine…! Give me some rain…! Give me a another girlfriend…! So I ENJOY once again…!
i know you look on my status.
I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday.
Kuch bhi Bolo But Dil???? to Chasmis Ladkiyaa hi Churatii hai.
If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.
If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar!!
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.
It’s funny how people say they miss you, but don’t even make an effort to see you or speak to you.
I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10000 ways that won’t work.
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
If nobody hates you, then you are doing something boring.
One mistake and everyone judges you
I love rumors. I always find out amazing things about myself that I never knew about.
Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror
I would lose weight, but I hate losing.
I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!
I wish I could mute people in real life.
I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
You can never buy love, but still you have to pay for it.
I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention!
I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.
I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her!
Never give up on your dreams keep sleeping.
Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.
I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
“3 words more beautiful for a married woman than I LOVE YOU: No Cooking Today”
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.
You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Women’s apology: I’m sorry, but it was your fault.
Yes of course I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.
Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up
I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle! He’s dreaming too.
Talking to myself because I am my own consultant.
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist. I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.
I’m not crazy I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
The hardest thing I ever tried was being normal.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Hey there! Whatsapp is using me.
Hey, you are reading my status again?
Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Whatsapp status.
Hey you, yeah I’m talking to you, why the hell are you reading my status?
Hey you, yeah you. The one reading this. Wanna know a secret? You’re beautiful. Don’t ever give up.
If you are reading this then I’m sure you have nothing to do in your life.
So you’re checking my status
My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
Say it to my face, not through your status.
Stop checking my status better you have your own.
WAIT! Do you have appointment to see my status.
Not always Available.. Try your luck.
Happiness is when “last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing”
Battery low, please disturb later.
It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.
Don’t play stupid with me, I’m better at it!
Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.
Life gives hurdles, but I am an athlete. So it’s fun.
Life taught me a lot of lessons, but I bunked those classes too
I really should do something with my life… maybe tomorrow.
I made a huge to do list for today. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
When a door closes, another door should open, but if it doesn’t then go in through the window.
If Plan A fails, remember that you have 25 letters left.
Sometimes, life gives you a second chance because just maybe the first time you weren’t ready.
Always Give 100%, Unless You’re Donating Blood.
I Was reminded that my blood type is BE POSITIVE!
I am blood type O-positive, which I remember by staying ‘optimistic positive.’
I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
It’s not the fault of the mirror if you don’t like your reflection.
I’m just a mirror for you, You are good, I’m best, You are bad, I’m worst.
I don’t have time to hate the people who hate me because I’m busy loving the people who love me.
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
Dear stress, let’s break up.
I wish I had a delete button in my life. To delete some people, some memories, and some feelings.
I would like to apologize to anyone I have NOT offended. Please by patient I will get to you shortly. Lol
Having one child makes you a parent; Having two you are a referee.
Did anyone ever notice that “STUDYING” is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
I’m physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted.
Physically Mentally Emotionally TIRED.
Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.
I know who I am, you have no need to explain.
I’m a sweet lil Girl, but if you make me mad, remember I always have a pocketful of crazy waiting to come out!!
Relax, it’s the weekend, just don’t blink or it will be all over.
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!
I love sleeping but I never want to go to sleep early.
At night, I can’t sleep. In the morning, I can’t wake up.
I am not single, I’m just Romantically Challenged.
Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship. :p
We live in an era of smart phones and stupid people.
When I die, I want my grave to offer free WiFi so people will visit more often.
I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me from me.
If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Smiles are contagious… Be a carrier!
Happiness does not have a price tag so smile.
Don’t worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Brain: Be patient. Heart: Until when?
My road to success is always under construction.
May my haters live long to see my success.
Society is funny. They ask you to be yourself and yet they judge you.
It’s funny how when I’m loud, people tell me to be quiet. But when I’m quiet, people ask me what’s wrong with me.
I Smile Because I have No Idea What’s Going On!
I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles.
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
Whenever I have a problem, I just sing. Then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.
Exercise? I Thought You Said Extra Fries!
Please God if you can’t make me slim make my friends FAT!!!
The only thing i gained so far in this year is weight
My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
I didn’t lose my mind… I just sold it online!
Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.
For Sale: BRAIN. Used less, Perfect working condition
Sorry, I can’t go to work tomorrow, I fractured my motivation.
My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.
SALARY – Something which comes at 2G speed and goes away at 4G speed
The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited”
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
I can’t believe I work this hard to be this poor.
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.
I am, indeed, a king, because I know how to rule myself.
I don’t follow others, I only follow my orders because I am my own boss.
If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.
The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!
Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
It’s alright if you don’t agree with me… I can’t force you to be right.
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.
I’m born to express, not to impress.
Don’t follow me because I don’t even know where I’m going.
I don’t need the Prince Charming to have my own happy ending.
My prince is not coming on a white horse… He’s obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.
My Prince Charming is not coming on a white horse.. He’s obviously riding on a turtle somewhere really confused..
I’m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
I never insult people I only tell them what they are.
If someone hates you for no reason give them a reason.
A man in not rewarded for having a brain but for using it well.
I am not changed it’s just I grew up and you should try too.
I know I am awesome, so I don’t care about your opinion.
I was born intelligent, but education ruined me.
Choose a lazy pe
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